The Pure Hell of St. Trinian's (1960)

It was pure hell to try to watch this. Something about a sheik wanting the girls.

The only part I watched was the opening sequence. The girls burned down the school.Why? WHY?! This is their stronghold. This is they're base. Their headquarters. Why would they burn it down?!?!?

I was pissed.

Then I fell asleep.

I was that bored.

Blue Murder at St. Trinian (1957)

Onward to the next installment of the St. Trinians hellions!


To be honest, it's been awhile since I watched this one so my memory may be a little spotty.

The movie played out like an extension of the first movie except for a few major changes.For some, undisclosed reason the headmistress is jailed.In order to maintain some resemblence of order, the education department is sent to "guard" the girls. Unsuited for war, the education dept is left ragged and wounded as they defend themselves from the office. The second change is that Flash Harry has a more guardian role in this one.He was introduced as a shadowy but lovable side character in the first. Now  it seems that he has begun to swell into his role as the girls only line to the outside. For in the beginning of the movie, he is chattin' it up with an Italian Prince by advertising the older girls for marriage. Flash was pimpin' out the girls in pin-up style photo book. For some reason, I was thinking of Grace Kelly. I have no idea why.


Strangely enough, the girls are ecstatic with Flashs return and are eager to hear news of the Princes reaction. This was pretty boggling. I would think the girls would chafe at having some guy pick a wife from mere photos. Or that they would even want to be a  wife. These were established to be naughty, crazy, as females armed with wit and guile to suit their own selfish needs. I guess they just wanted to establish some royal money or take over a country. Or maybe they're just hopeless romantics...


Meanwhile, a seemingly pointless introduction of a jewel thief  grabs the attention of the police chief and the sad but annoying undercover policeman on the train. As the chase gains way, it is connected that the thief is the father of the one the St Trinian girls. As the father hides out in the girls dorm, the police quickly figure out the obvious connection and surround the place.

Well since they're under "house arrest" (how is it that they bodily harm large groups of people but they can't fight their way through weak cops?). Now they are truly stuck. How can they ever get to Italy?

Ahh, the introduction of a plot point in the guise of an essay contest with an Italian trip as the main prize. So....get this....they are unable to leave the school but they are ABLE to break into the Ministry of Education to rig their essay as the winning essay.

Right.

Although I can dismiss that bottomless plothole by mentioning one of the wackiest sequence I've seen so far. In an attempt to get the results, the girls drill a hole from the floor above. They stick an umbrella through the hole and open it to catch the debris. They switch the essays. They're almost caught but the police are called elsewhere. They cover the hole with a carpet and scamper off. The Ministry of Education discover the horrific "winner" of the contest. As they wonder who could've done it, they step...right...into..the...whole...

No wonder these girls can get away with anything. Everyone is an imbecile.

Are you with me so far? Ok..onward with the crazy.

Way to get to Rome? Check! Way to get out of the school? However will they manage? Ahhh....blackmail the father into dressing up as the New headmistress and lead them to Italy. Once again, another wacky scene:
  The new headmistress has driven off. She walks away from the car bewildered and wary at the large number of St. Trinian girls that have come out to greet her. And they're singing. They're parting ways for her and singing oh so sweetly. As the headmistress walks up the stairs, a secret panel slides open from the wall and yanks her in. In a few moments, the father emerges as the new headmistress and the girls continue to sing on. That was just pure diabolical fun to watch that segment.

So pretty much, they end up in Italy. Something about the dad trying to run. One of the girls being married off. Jewels being the ball. Honestly, the rest of the movie became forgettable to me.

The movie felt more like an extended episode than a movie . I enjoyed seeing more of Flash Harry but his grand important role among the girls is starting to feel more disturbing. Almost like a pimp looking over his harem.

I hate the inclusion of the undercover woman cop now. Am I supposed to feel happy that she spurns away the love of reasonable men for the one man who would rather do battle than marry her? I am becoming seriously irritated with the way her character is handing this. There is a pretty diverse plot where she, Flash Harry, and some other guy have been stranded in the ocean. The policeman is shown that not only does she have romantic appeal but handiness in dealing with situations. She was so strong. Then she sees that worthless shit and she goes stupid.Is this supposed to be a nod towards how women can be? A contrast between her and the girls? A possible difference in what happens when one takes control of the situation? Pis posh.

There was also alot more focus on the older girls. Who are sexier, cunning, and intelligent. I could see inspirations of this in the modern version.

Except for the scenes I mentioned, this version fell pretty short of meeting the atmosphere and fun of the first movie. Why did they take out the headmistress Alistar?  I don't get it. It's not great. It's ok. I was able to watch it all the way through. If I stopped screaming "WHAT? WHY?" at the screen then I was able to enjoy it somewhat.


Oh....and why the hell was it titled "Blue Murder at St. Trinian"!?!??!There was no murder!!

The Belles of St. Trinians (1954)

So much has prevented me to keep up with my blogs: medical and technical issues. Alas, I shall endeavor to find a way to write about my movie treasures!

Have you heard of St. Trinians?

I stumbled upon this after watching the contemporary version with Colin Firth (oh I will blog about about that one...don't you worry). I was absolutely smitten with the movie so I did my usual digging around extras and imdb and realized that this was only a newest edition to a long standing series based off of cartoons! Well....I just had to dig deeper...

St. Trinians is a boarding school from hell as imagined by Ronald Searle (who just passed away in 2011). The cartoons involved very wicked boarding school girls in acts of murder, violence, and sheer mayhem. The teachers are just as wicked encouraging or improving such acts. The cartoons are awesome. Definitely check out the compiled version called "St Trinians: The Entire Appalling Business". The style reminds me of the covers of Roald Dahl's books: spindly and somehow creepy. I love it. 

There have been about 4 or 5 comedy films based off the cartoons. The contemporary version even has a sequel coming up with DAVID TENNANT!!!!! oh hell yeah I'm gonna watch it! So I have taken it to task to watch every single one of them leading up to the newer ones (hopefully the sequel would have been released in the US by then).

"The Belles of St. Trinians" was the first movie based off the cartoons. After watching the others, this has been the truest adaptation to the source material I have seen. The students are conniving, sneaky, violent, and immoral. The teachers are lazy, ex-convicts, and drunk.

An arabian princess (for some reason) arrives at St. Trinians. The girls soon learn that the princess's horse will be racing. After quickly learning the basics of betting and racing, it is estimated that the horse has a huge chance of winning the race. The younger class quickly work together to pool their sources to bet on the horse. The older girls, led by the headmistress's niece, come up with a counterplan to take the horse away and rig the race. Meanwhile, the headmistress is in huge financial debt. Not knowing of the students manipulations of the race, she also places her whole savings into the race. While all this is going on, the police send in an undercover female cop posing a teacher to ferret out details to bring the school down. 

 
 The students are played almost as if they stepped off from the comics. They have such adorable voices and faces but in one scene, they have a girls tied  up to a torture device as they elicit details from her. The older girls constantly use sexual appeal to seduce stable men to give up details on their horses. They're wearing garter belts underneath their uniforms. In chemistry class, they're distilling gin to be sold through their outside man, Flash.

Flash is the added character to the story (in the modern version, he's played by Russell Brand ::shudder:: ). He was some boy that grew up on the grounds and now just runs illegal errands for the girls. Flash really grew on me. At first, I couldn't understand a word he was saying. But then he just became this lovable helper that eventually saves the girls. The way he walks when he's summoned is so cute.


The other staple addition to the story is the headmistress and her twin brother.Both by the same man, Alastair Sim. This trend is so far continued in the contemporary version. I love the headmistress but I feel that her character is kind of at  odds with the school. She knows the wickedness of her students since she dodges their tricks but she still loves them. I would have expected an aloof and uncaring headmistress but Alistair Sims played her amazingly. So many times I forgot it was a man. The headmistress is a posh, "delicate" woman who has a very quick mind. On one hand, she tries to encourage the girls to have decorum but then she looks away when they knock out the referee and opposing team out cold during a game.

The annoying thing for me was the undercover cop. She does the job because her superior is her fiance and won't marry until St. Trinian's is closed up for good. I felt kinda bad for her but she was so damn annoying that I started to feel bad for the superior for being engaged to her. She was obvious in her snooping and she spent most of the movie getting knocked out. Hoorah.

As a first movie based on the series, it was a lot of fun to watch. My favorite part was when the "old girls" come in to rescue the school. You never seen their faces since they bunch up in a tight group holding tribal weapons. Then they go into all out battle mode. That was so much fun to watch!It does trod on a bit slow sometimes but it still grew on me. Maybe because I'm watching the newest ones first that I can't help but do fond comparisons. Either way, I was pretty happy with it.

Besides,  the whole idea of a boarding school where all hell just breaks loose is so freeing. I've never been to a boarding school but I've watched enough British movies to know that I would go insane in such a rigid structure. I would probably end up at St. Trinians.


I just found out what the school motto was: "In flagrante delicto". A legal term used in divorcei cases loosely meaning : getting caught while in the act of sex. Hell yeah.